“Keep your eyes on your own paper. Work on your body. Nurture your relationships. Improve your business. We all have plenty to improve.”
~ James Clear, Atomic Habits
Do you remember being in school and hearing your teacher say, “Keep your eyes on your own paper”?
Your test was sitting right in front of you, and then you would start to look around and wonder: How is everyone else doing? Why are they already finished when I’m only halfway through?
We do this as adults, too. Our papers just look different.
We look at other people’s careers, relationships, bodies, creative work, accomplishments, and opportunities. It can be easy to start measuring where we are by what we see happening around us and lose sight of the work that is actually ours to do.
I was thinking about this last week at the National Dance Education Organization (NDEO) conference in Albuquerque, where I was presenting a session on boundaries. A colleague was supposed to come with me but had to cancel at the last minute, so I went alone. I would have loved to have someone I knew there, but it also gave me an opportunity to be intentional about how I wanted to experience the conference.
Before I left, I wrote down a few simple goals: introduce myself to people, have meaningful conversations, and put myself out there in ways that do not always feel natural or comfortable.
Once I arrived, I put that plan into practice. I would introduce myself to someone sitting next to me and discover we had a mutual connection. Someone knew a colleague I knew. Someone had worked with someone I had worked with. One conversation led to another introduction, and another conversation. It was a nice reminder of how small the world really is.
The session I taught focused on boundaries through the ideas of fences, gates, and anchors, exploring how we protect our energy, decide what we allow in, and stay connected to ourselves while remaining in relationship with others.
My session was at 5:15 p.m. on day two, after an already full day of programming. Earlier in the day, I had attended sessions with much larger groups, so I admit I was a bit disappointed when only 12 people showed up for mine. But as the session unfolded, I realized the smaller group created space for thoughtful conversation about the boundaries they were navigating in their own lives. A larger group may not have allowed for that same level of discussion.
I brought myself back to what I had set out to do: show up, take initiative, create meaningful dialogue, and then surrender the outcome.
The next day, several people came up to me and told me they had heard about the session. They asked if I would share the information. It was a nice reminder that we often cannot see the full impact of our work while we are doing it. The people in the room had connected with the material enough to carry it into conversations with others.
The bigger takeaway for me was that I do not have to wait for an outcome to tell me whether something was worthwhile. What is within my control is how I show up, the attitude I bring, my personal growth, and how I can appreciate the people who are right there with me.
For me, the questions are pretty simple: What matters to me? What are my goals? Where does my growth lie?
At NDEO, I was taking initiative and showing a willingness to step outside of what felt comfortable. That is something I want to carry with me beyond the conference: staying focused on what is within my control and noticing when I start looking sideways for a measure of how I am doing.
My paper is right here in front of me. And there is plenty for me to tend to.
Stretching alongside you,
Amy
