“The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth.”
~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
We’ve all done it.
They didn’t text back—are they mad at me?
He was short in that meeting—did I do something wrong?
She didn’t smile when she walked by—what did I say?
Assumptions are the silent scripts we write in our heads. Often based on fear or past experiences, they creep into our conversations and shape how we relate to others. We don’t even realize we’re doing it. And yet, they can wreak havoc on our relationships and our overall well-being.
Don Miguel Ruiz identifies assumptions as a major source of unnecessary suffering.
His advice?
Don’t make assumptions.
He writes, “We make all sorts of assumptions because we don’t have the courage to ask questions.”
Think about that.
What if we paused and got curious instead?
What if we asked, “Are you okay?” or “Can you help me understand what you meant?” before filling in the blanks ourselves?
Assumptions distort communication.
They lead us to respond to what we think someone meant, instead of what they said. A single unspoken misunderstanding can snowball into resentment, distance, or unnecessary conflict…sometimes for years.
When we assume, we stop listening.
This week, try this small but powerful shift:
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Notice when you’re making an assumption in a conversation.
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Instead of reacting, ask a clarifying question.
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Listen for their answer, not the one in your head.
You might be surprised by what opens up: less tension, fewer misunderstandings, more authentic connection.
Stretching alongside you,
Amy
